A common mistake
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Many repeat the same mistake – and without care for their outer egoism, they try to throw everything away and bury themselves in spiritual pursuits. In this way their suffering becomes worse, because both sides are unsatisfied. Let me explain this in another way. What would a day be like, if you didn’t sleep well the night before? It is the same for your outer egoism. Care for the horse, and the rider will also be satisfied.
If your egoism turns into egocentrism, you will notice this from several symptoms. If you can’t refuse something that is irrelevant at this time, and this is followed by paranoia and a feeling of guilt – you’re on the way to excessive egocentrism. If at first you look for the interests of others when seeking something – egoism won’t harm you. If you love and respect yourself, not expecting blind admiration from others, and don’t trouble yourself by looking for approval of your personal significance – you are in a healthy way. If you begin any answer with a word “no”, devalue the opinions of others almost automatically, and think that your way is the best way – then know that you have a big problem, which is going to obscure your life more and more…
Secret of successful communication
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
When other people try to “correct” you, there’s no need to worry. Every time someone blames you, they blame themselves in principle. If the desire to call someone a fool or egoist comes to you, it’s worth looking in a mirror and asking – what could I do to get rid of such a quality?
The biggest secret leading to successful communication is reducing your conceit to a minimum, and exalting the conceit of other people. All people want is to be significant in the eyes of others. When you throw off your conceit, and work on exalting the significance of other people, you will rid yourself of all your enemies. People will want to communicate with you kindly, because they won’t see you as a competitor. The most paradoxical thing is that your significance in others’ eyes will only rise…
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Conflict is the best teacher
ZETT WHY
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Many interesting things happen when we don’t agree with another person’s opinion. We can see two possibilities in a conflict situation. The first – I am angry and despise my opponent. The second – I understand what a fool I am, and try to listen to his opinion closely. If you are practicing the first communication option, it looks like you are a loner with limited amount of friends. With the second option, you are welcome in any company, and surrounded by many friends…
People say that fools are lucky. Silliness is a key which helps to conquer many obstacles. But don’t value silliness as stupidity or imbecility – these are totally different things. Real silliness is more similar to naivety. Try an experiment. Give a simple story to a few friends to read, and ask them to explain how they understood it in writing. You will clearly see their character and values in their descriptions. Everyone will only stick to things which they understand to be true for themselves, and will like it as much as it corresponds to their values.
Here you should realize that each of us is important to ourselves, and that trying to change others only results in fruitless efforts. When you learn to hear and try to understand another person, you will discover many new things. Let it be a stimulus for you…
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The main cause of stress
Zett Why
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Many of you will admit that the main cause of our diseases and mental disorders is stress, usually arising from communication with other people. Relationships or interpersonal communication psychology between people is one of the most popular topics in mass media. Family life and professional relations are talked about while considering their various aspects. A lot of advice is given which is denied the next month, and new advice is offered.
Still, the majority of this advice leads in a different direction and doesn’t illuminate the main concerns. Meanwhile, all the real problems go on their own merry way, and may be solved and disappear.
In a family or a society – communication is the basis of everything. Human self-evaluation and realization are closely related to other people. Only in communicating with others and comparing ourselves with them can we realize who we really are. But communication itself isn’t a problem. The problem begins when we don’t get approval from our environment. To be precise – when the people around us don’t behave in line with our wishes.
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When talking to another person, you are actually talking to yourself
Zett Why
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
An idyllic picture. Two people meet, talk to each other, and separate in a friendly manner. You may say – what’s so special here? But I suggest that you look at this situation a bit closer. If you are unbiased and fair enough, you will notice an interesting thing. When talking to other person, we are actually talking to ourselves.
Whether we want to or not, we think of ourselves as the centre of the universe, also seeing the world only through ourselves. This is especially true in conflict situations. But let’s analyze this at first by asking – why do conflict situations arise in interpersonal communication? The main cause is disagreement in opinions. Now, let’s consider what such a disagreement really means…
Every person has unique personal experience. What seems dangerous to one person can be a normal daily routine for another, and vice versa. When talking, people share their experience and exchange opinions. On principle, during communication with an unknown person, a scanning process is working. The process is soft enough up to a particular limit – till all the parameters synchronize. When the parameters totally synchronize, we say that the person is good, and seek friendship with them. A conflict situation appears when one or the other’s internal limit for achieved possibility is reached or exceeded…
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Which desire is yours?
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The biggest problem is that when we think we want something, it’s often difficult to differentiate which desires are ours, and which are imposed by society and our environment. It’s very hard to separate desires created by egoism.
Let’s talk about the main indicators of real desires. When a desire is real, the consciousness is full of a satisfaction that has no burning fire within itself. If you feel increased excitement, the desire has been created by egoism. This excitement usually doesn’t last for long because after that, a clear goal is set, and the desire-goal achievement at any price process begins…
A real goal is like a real dream. It has no suffering or doubts. You just have a desire, and you can see at once how it begins to come true. Realization without obstacles only confirms the desire’s match to your inner potential. In really wanting, you don’t care about the result, because there’s no egoism. This is another way to separate an egoistic desire from a real one. If you feel a fear of loss until its achievement, know that this desire doesn’t belong to you…
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Constructive criticism
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Zett Why
When criticizing, you harm yourself!
Buddhism wisdom says – the lotus blossoms in the marsh. It means that only in facing obstacles do we have an ability to realize our potential. In this article, I would like to talk more about another human quality – being critical.
Looking at it from a psychological view, “constructive” criticism is understood as a mechanism for self-defense and ego affirmation. We denigrate others in order to raise ourselves up in comparison. When you persuade yourself that there is only shit around you, the “golden effect” appears…
From one side it may seem that there’s nothing inherently wrong with a bigger or smaller critique, but everything works in such a way that there are no separate processes – all is related, and makes up an entire complex.
“Constructive” criticism ruins creation
Maybe you can argue that constructive criticism is a healthy thing that encourages us to develop. I think that it’s important here to differentiate between positive criticism, and criticism based on the exaltation of yourself. To see how it works on people around you, do an uncomplicated experiment with children. Once you have identified their creative purposes, try to criticize them and watch their reactions. Many will lose their wish to continue games, and some will close up and refuse to communicate further. Then do an opposite experiment. Before the children start to play, or are already at the beginning of an activity, persuade them that you believe they will create something unique. Give your trust in advance. You will see how the children’s maximum potential will come out and how they will try to fulfill your expectations and trust. What is valid for children is also valid for adults. The external forms are different, but the essence is the same…
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Concentration
Introduction from ebook “52 Quotes to live by“
Zett Why
Concentration chains
I think that it’s the fault of the person. People have chosen the way of intellect as their main guiding process. We can see different stages of human development in history where we didn’t have any intellectual dictation. For instance, our intellectually created science still can’t explain how the Pyramids were built, how Jesus managed to walk on water, and many other things. But all these miracles are easily untangled, if we don’t try to understand them through intellect. Logic here is powerless – absolutely other laws are at work here…
The biggest part of a modern person is his consciousness, which is colored by his goals. A goal is not a main problem itself. The manner used in seeking a goal is a bigger problem. Many people only concentrate their attention on the goal, and try to achieve it by all means. Naturally, a question arises – What will the result be if it is only sought under stress? If you can only see the final goal, any obstacle or circumstance preventing its accomplishment makes you nervous and increases your level of stress. This is reflected in your mind. Because of the stress and tension, you won’t be able to recognize a favorable condition when it appears on the path to your goal…
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Everyone's suffering- yesterday or tomorrow
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Zett Why
People are often in a constant rush, and are rarely satisfied with their current situation. Real moments of joy and blessings are usually postponed to the future or remembered from the past. Even present day achievements are valued and analyzed by comparing them to those of other people. This creates the feeling of being in a race – a race that has no end. In today’s modern world the ability to be the best or the strongest is preferred to only being good or strong. Competition is encouraged everywhere, and the race is based on an intellectually created hierarchy principle. The higher the position is, the more applicants…
Everything that belongs to you comes easily and with joy. Other things probably don’t belong to you. How many people around us are trying to catch what is not theirs at any price, and only to prove something to others? On Earth you have to pay for everything, and not necessarily by money. The result of feeling constant fear and stress in our consciousness is damaging to our physical and mental health.
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
A tree only grows surrounded by other trees
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Zett Why
Oriental wisdom says that a tree only grows surrounded by other trees. Look at the trees growing in grassland. Their height is not really impressive. Then look at the trees in a forest. Fighting for sunlight, they become higher than each other. The same thing applies to people…
The only way to develop is through coping with problems, and who can be better in creating problems, than another person? Who can stimulate you to develop faster, than an enemy? Western logic may be able realize this with some difficulty, but Oriental wisdom says – “be happy when your enemy is strong”. Of course, everything depends on your view. You can see a problem as an unsolvable thing, or as an opportunity. It’s your choice.
Here, it’s worth mentioning that the reader should not pay too much attention to the existence of an enemy. This quote is not intended to stimulate you to create enemies. The only thing I am trying to point out is that a problem can be an Opportunity, too…
Heaven loses its meaning without Hell
Difficulties are very important to our development. Only in facing obstacles do we live a real life. One day I heard two people on street talking about Heaven. One of them said that all the things you desire are in Heaven, and your wishes are fulfilled at once. Walking away I thought, “Oh God, what a Hell…”
Imagine for at least a moment, that you have such an ability. Just snap your fingers, and any of your wishes becomes true. I know that egoism has no limits, but still – how long will you keep snapping?
Probably till it begins to nauseate you…
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Love to the parts
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
“Love the person you see, not who you would like to…”
How we understand love
We understand love in a twofold manner. The first way is limitless and unconditional love of all, as set out in the scriptures. The second way is daily love, when one person loves another. I will not mention love of all in this part of the article. Here, I’m going to talk about the aspects of daily love. It can be recognized according to several of its main features.
At first, you may observe that daily love is diluted with a sufficient dose of egoism. If he loves her, she must love him, and vice versa. Lacking this response in daily love is the straightest path towards suffering. Each lover tries untiringly to adjust the object of his love to himself. That’s another quality and evil. The main reason for all the conflicts between couples is the Lover Illusion.
Lover illusion
The Lover illusion is the physical being of a person, adoring and cherishing deep feelings for his phantom. The funniest thing is that this phantom is not imposed or created by your partner. You create it by yourself. While being with your “lover”, you think that you love a real person, but you are wrong here. You love someone who really only exists in your head. So let’s look how it works. Actually, it all happens simply enough. When you fall in love, that person immediately becomes special to you. You exclude them from the common crowd. You think of them, remember them, and dream of them a lot. This feeling of admiration forces you to keep returning back to the object of your love by thoughts. In gratitude to human egoism (the self-defence instinct) you remember and keep in your head only things which you like in that person. Every time you relive pleasant moments, your consciousness becomes full of blessings. Many see love of their partners in such a way. People do not say “love is blind” needlessly. Love is blind in the direct meaning of it – it doesn’t let you see the real person near you, but only the phantom who exists in your head. The more you think about your lover, the stronger the phantom becomes, and after that other mechanisms switch on automatically. One of them is the imagination. In your mind you are constantly polishing up the portrait of your lover. As this occurs, the result is proportional to the size and extent of your imagination.
Love to the parts
There are only separate romanticized parts of a lover in your head, not an entire person. It’s just a phantom who is almost not related to the original. After creating this phantom, you quickly notice that your lover may not be fulfilling all your expectations. Because you “know” how they should behave in one or another situation. This is the start of conflicts in your relationship. Even worse – You begin to try to adjust the real person to match the phantom by all means. By the way, this is another feature of daily love – extortion. Extortion of someone who you think you love. The worst of it is that you do it from the heart, by lying to yourself and harming this close person. If the real person loves you enough, they can think that something is truly wrong, and start trying to change in line with your picture of them. But then the real person risks losing what they had in the beginning, plus the phantom perception of them in your head.
Egoism in love
Destroy the phantom
An piece of advice for you – try to know your lover from the start. Remember conflict situations, and look at them from your lover’s side. Let go of any egoistic claims to your partner. You will be surprised at how many conflicts would not have happened at all, and you will see that the original and the phantom you created are two different things. Try to forget your I in a relationship, and pay more attention to your partner. Remember that our bodies consist of many cells. A healthy cell gives 70% of its energy to the organism, and keeps just 30% for itself. When a cell takes 70% of the energy, we call it a cancer cell. Now, try to apply this formula to your relationship…
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Fatigue – the consequence of civilization?
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
„Face death every evening, so that you can be reborn in the morning…“
Fatigue – the consequence of civilization?
Look at modern man – feeling tired has almost become a fashion. It’s like an official statement that shows you are normal, like a sign that proves that you follow an insane rhythm in life step by step. Modern people, working from dawn till dusk in being relevant to all, feel very tired and complain about fatigue. A shroud of fatigue like a dense mist covers and lies on more and more people in the world…
People are trying to escape from the rat race and blindly following the illusion that a big amount of money means happiness. We’ll talk about this incorrect illusion in other parts of the book. Now let’s pay attention to fatigue and its real consequences. Doctors have even developed a new term for this phenomenon – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. A survey of general practitioners shows that as much as 55% of their patients complain about this. Naturally, a question arises – why do we get so tired and from what?
Causes of fatigue
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has various causes. The first is the fast pace of life and its growing requirements. The second is…
BANNER
The worst of it is that a person lying on a beach can feel constant tension in their head, caused by many unfinished tasks and other factors. But we only need so little. In growing up, many of us have lost the wonderful ability of just letting things go that we had in our childhood.
Your mind is never on holiday
Observe yourself in the evening before falling asleep – what a sea of unfinished tasks and thoughts live in your head. If due to this hive of thoughts, caused by circumstances, you fall asleep in a troubled state of mind, it will lead to a troubled night of sleep. Naturally, a person feels tired after not getting enough sleep. This has no end – we’re going around and around like dogs chasing our tails.
Each of us has a particular amount of potential energy. Some have more, others have less, but we won’t talk about it in this part of the book. Every thought or action we make requires a certain amount of energy. It’s like a car – with a certain amount of fuel it can drive a certain distance. It’s the same thing with people. All your thoughts require some amount of energy, and here it’s worth mentioning that mental work leads to fatigue faster than physical work. Of course, it’s easier to recognize cases of physical fatigue, because the body simply gets tired, while in cases of mental work, the human mind is worn down.
Each of us should also delve deeper into our internal world. We should clearly recognize what our internal energy is being used for. Maybe it is not being used for things you are presently doing, but instead, it is focused on things that have already been done, or should be done. Plus, this work doesn’t end after working hours or while on holiday. In our minds, we constantly feel and think about various desires, motives and so on, and while we may not always be aware of them consciously, they are with us all the time.
Ways of solving the problem of constant fatigue
Psychological tiredness causes constant stress. The most popular way of solving an internal conflict is to set it aside consciously or unconsciously. Because we don’t know what our behavior should be, we try to put the problem far away from us as an irrelevant thing. Sometimes we start to drink. It helps us forget for a time, but later it comes back with double force. The problem is not solved yet, and the body now has a hangover. Attempting to hide internal confusion requires a lot of energy. Even if you think you have managed to forget one or another problem, fatigue can be a symptom showing that that skeleton in your closet hasn’t come out into the light of day yet. You will have to work on it, or it will come out by itself, and this usually happens in a disturbing fashion.
BANNER
So when going to sleep every evening, let it all go – like it would be your last day on Earth. Leave the problem solving for your unconscious internal mind. It knows all the answers, but you will have to trust it, and ask it questions without mental tension. Many different cultures have a saying – “morning is wiser than evening”. Only a clean mind can be reborn every morning. Develop the art of letting go, and you won’t meet any obstacles on your Way.
Exerpt from ebook “52 Quotes to live by”
Tension generates violence
Everything what belongs to you comes easy and with joy...
Tension generates violence
Human way is hard enough, when consciousness is put in the shade with goals. While we haven’t achieved, we have a possibility. After achievement we also have a possibility. Achieving something, we shrivel up more and more. It pollutes our consciousness. Problems won't be solved if we will increase speed. Jumping to uncertainty requires us to throw off all our entity and knowledge. More than one state and human will fall down from increasing achievement speed.
Then you increase speed, tension grows. Tension generates violence. Violence brings suffering. As a consequence, any alive organism becomes ill. It seems that human is created in such a way, and that constant achievement is the real movement. Unfortunately, it's the straightest way to suffering.
Everything what belongs to you comes easy and with joy. Other things probably don't belong to you. When achieving it in violence, you only harm yourself.
Inner potential and desires
Remember rare life situations, when everything used to work by itself, like without efforts. It was enough to think that you desire something, and it used to become true. You only were surprised, how it all happened. It's not a secret actually. Your desire became one with inner potential.
An adult, raising a weight of ten kilos, doesn't need to make big efforts. A hundred isn't limit to trained person. As body muscles, inner potential also can be increased. But here you should remember, that it is done by internal, not by outer means. Each part has its own means.
Watching people from the side, every time I make a conclusion, that many things are limited by our senses and intellectual frame. The biggest problem is that when we think that we want something, it's often difficult to differentiate, which desires are ours, and which are imposed by society and environment. It's very hard to separate desires, created by egoism…
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Water is the most yielding substance, but no one has won over it yet…
Being yielding is an advantage
Bowing to something is in one or other way mentioned by many religions. One of well-known lessons tought by Christ says – “if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also“. But show me a christian, faithfully following such a precept. The interpretation of being yielding is strained in our society. Being yielding actually is not self-effacement or humility in the name of some profit in uncertain kingdom of God. Devotees understand it like wordless acceptance of injustice, unconcern, common problems of mankind.
Christians took a formula of responding to an aggressor without violence, and are trying to go along the life way bowing, in easy manner, not getting to anybody other’s road, stopping short at praying. Although try to step onto their callus, and the imaginary bowing will be gone. However, this belongs to another topic. And above all, church teachers and wise people in this case talk about special quality. Quality, which helps to survive and win without fighting.
Water doesn’t fight, but it always wins
Problems in our society begin from childhood, and grow in one line with development of a person. Since early years we are being tought to win and achieve what we want, with any price. But show me home, where you can learn to be yielding. Women are honoured with yielding character by nature. Observe them, and you will learn many good things. Feminine power is hidden exactly in their ability to be yielding. It can seem that a woman descends to her husband and even humbles. But the point is in the result. In such a manner she gets everything what she seeks. I call this Water Character. So watch water – it doesn’t face any obstacles in its way. When water encounters a stone, it simply flows around, not hitting hindrance until goal achievement. Water doesn’t fight, but so it wins.
Egoism is the greatest enemy to bowing
What will you choose?
It is said that the more humans get older, the wiser they become. Observe the elders – majority of them will own being yielding as a quality. Only after going along great way of life, in which we experience continual losing, humiliation, and absolute failure of self-confidence, we try to realize being yielding as a little bit more than desperate prostration.
To get totally free from disgust to the idea of bowing, and understand it as a way to the real human freedom, to find strength in seeking bowing as a quality, we need to conquer ourselves and change personal values at first. You will need much time for all this. Egoism and old habits won’t capitulate easily. You will want to riot in each step. Until finally and not hiding from yourself, you will confess that it’s relevant to choose in the situations of life – I can proudly continue hitting the wall, or I can bow to it and adapt.
I ensure – when you turn bowing into your quality, you will come much more further. Start from small steps. As you learned to walk in childhood, learn being yielding today. First victories will bring joy, which will work as a stimulus to move on. And the miracles will begin after that. What are they – you will know later. Be attentive and observe yourself.
I reveal you one more secret – looking at circle of communicating people, you should notice that basically each one is talking to himself. He who can hear his friend, is the winner in such a situation. With an intention of achieving it, we must reduce our significance till zero. After that you should do everything to strengthen the significance of others. When you follow this principle, people will notice that you don’t cause any danger. As a consequence, they will become more honest with you. Paradoxically, your significance in their eyes will only grow…
2nd quote from 52 quotes to live by
By Zett Why
The supply of inspirational quotes are inexhaustible. The inspirational words are here, not only to inspire, but most importantly, to encourage change. When you read inspirational quotes, you would often feel a sense of renewed energy and that urge to improve your current state. We can get inspiration not only from the words of famous and successful people, but also from the everyday talks we have, conversations we overhear, or even a surprising remark from a nine year-old. Inspiration may come from anywhere. It is simply a matter of paying a little attention and putting those thoughts into action.
The following are some of the greatest inspirational quotes to live by:
1. "Don't let what you can't do stop you from what you can do." (John Wooden)
Sure, there's a lot of things you feel you can't do. The next best thing is to learn. Learning and trying something new is a big step into conquering the "can'ts" in your list.
2. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." (Confucius)
Failures may be failures but they also present opportunities for growth. When we fail, we try to understand what we did wrong. By doing so, we learn, and we improve. It is the experiences of rising from failures that creates successful people.
3. "If you are going through hell, keep going." (Winston Churchill)
As they say, if you're already at the bottom, there is no where else to go but up. The situation you are in now won't last forever. Keep living until you attain your greatest happiness.
4. "To Live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that's all." (Oscar Wilde)
Many people are merely empty bodies walking around the world, not really experiencing life. Remember not to get trapped by the routines of everyday life. Take time to break off from your routine and do something you really, really want for a change.
5. "If you want to be happy, be." (Leo Tolstoy)
If you are sad right now, it is always your choice to be happy. It is as simple as that.
6. "We must be the change we want to see." (Gandhi)
This world is far from being perfect. If you want things to improve, start with yourself. It is you that you have a hundred percent control over. You might as well use that power to change the things that you can.